July 27, 2008

  • Random thoughts from 2002

    Who was I? and who is the new me?
    What changed? What didn't?

    I am..........a mom, a daughter
    I am, somewhat reluctantly, a sister
    I am a friend
    I am a woman who loves Stephen

    All these are still still the same.......

    It seems to be in how I express me
    that the changes have occurred

    I spend time with my love by Quilting, writing, gardening
    Things I didn't do before
    But are expressive and healing in learning how to live without his
    physical presence
    Some things I did before I am conflicted about........
    I still only want to do them with Stephen
    Does this make me strange?
    I sleep wrapped in his loving presence
    In the arms of a dead man
    Whose spirit fills mine
    With love, comfort, strength, compassion
    In his love I found pure joy

    He was not perfect nor am I
    Even together we were not perfect
    We had our insecurities...our doubts, our fears
    Together and each of us

    And yet, we were more,
    More than I knew.
    More than I believed possible

    The world and I lost a wonderful man
    One whose soul was a shining light
    And yet I have not lost that soul
    It continues to shine it's light on me

    I realized today
    that my strength and love of Stephen
    help me walk closer to him and God
    With love that never ends

    May 8, 2002